I Don't Want to Wait in Vain for My Stuff

I am not homeless. I do have an apartment. In fact, I paid my August rent in early July. I am, however, sleeping on an Aerobed (you know, those self-inflatable beds). The Aerobed is just as handy as the infomercial implies. Note: The infomercial does not tell you that if you move even slightly during the night, the bed will make an odd squealing noise akin to a stabbed pig or fraternity brother fart. This is not a good way to impress new roommates.

The moving truck with all of my belongings has not shown up yet. One of my new roommates was nice enough to lend me her laptop computer so I could update the six people who read this thing. Everybody raise the roof to my new roommate. (Yeah, I said it.)

I've been running around doing things like getting a parking pass, sitting down for an academic advising meeting (remember those?), and buying everything I could possibly need at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is pure evil and I've sold my soul to that stupid smiley face "rolling back prices" okay? Okay. It's the only place to shop here. Or any place near here.

I am also extremely homesick, so if you planned on following through with letters, now is the time, kids. I implore you. In fact, I'm so lonely that I keep going through the Taco Bell drive through because there is a chubby black lady who always calls me "hon" and says, "You have a great day, darlin'" every time she hands me my burrito. EVERY TIME. I know it is pathetic, but I love that lady.

Now go hug your best friend and thank him/her for always loving you even though you can't color coordinate your outfits and don't know a goddamned thing about literary theory.