Malarkey
mə-'lšr-kẹ n. [origin unknown]: insincere or foolish talk

Alive

May 05, 2007
Okay, Iíve been MIA for awhile, I know it. I have a long list of things Iíve been meaning to post and, well, letís just say the list is longer than the entries on this puppy. Hereís a general update:

1. During the last few weeks of this semester, I caught a really bad cold. It sidelined me for an entire weekend. After about a week, I went into work and only lasted two hours. As I was walking out of the CAB (Campus Administration Building for you non-Miamians), and right in front of a walking tour of incoming freshmen and their parents, I coughed so hard that I projectile vomited. Thatís right, kids. Hork show courtesy of yours truly. One of the mothers asked if I was okay. I managed to whine/cry/whimper ďnoĒ and make it to my car before experiencing the full humiliation of my predicament. Diagnosis from the health center: pneumonia.

2. So, with the pneumonia, they give you these pills that look exactly like breath mints. You know those weird round gel ball mints that Jessica Simpson was pimping awhile ago? They look just like that. And itís vital that you not chew or crush these gel balls because they can paralyze your throat/mouth and you can die. Itís happened. I swear.

3. I had to write a fifteen-page paper while feeling like microwaved dog shit. I barely finished the paper before I had to catch a plane to dog sit my parentsí dogs while theyíre on vacation in Jerusalem. Sweet deal (though they got the better end of this bargain, for sure). During the flight, I suddenly become really nauseous and spend the majority of the two hour flight in the bathroom, puking up the lunch and dinner I never ate. Let me put it this way: I have a whole new level of sympathy for bulimic flight attendants. That is serious torture.

Iíve been spending the last week at home, relaxing and trying to breathe. Tomorrow, Iíll give you the grad school update and all the hilariousness that entailed.

7:03 p.m. :: comment ::
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