Oxford Schmoxford
1. Just how shitty is your job? Really. Is it shittier than dealing with university �professionals� who ask you to proofread the papers they�re writing since you used to be an editor and all?
2. What is Oxford, Ohio, like? This is a big one, kids. If you�re used to the everyday somewhat-on-the-smaller-side city life, don�t delude yourself into thinking than cows and corn are going to cut it for you. I don�t care how hot the boys on the university�s campus are. Don�t get me wrong. Sometimes you need a good stock of beautiful boys to look at (e.g., Andy Garcia sans tennis-ball twin). But, sometimes, what you need is a good old-fashioned drink in a good old-fashioned dive bar�the kind frequented by mechanics who don�t brush their teeth and want to talk about the evils of capitalism. Sometimes you really need that and it is at least one hour away.
3. Are you a people person? By people person I mean: Do you like hearing about the sex lives of twenty-somethings, reading about their roommate fights over bathroom cleanliness, he-said/she-said backstabbing gossip of the most petty kind, and serious debates about how many calories are in a handful of baby carrots and can those calories be decreased by washing the carrots before eating them?
4. Do you like sunshine or do you like to remember what the sun looks like? This is a key decision in accepting that free ride they�re offering you. Note: They will say �fall is beautiful here.� They will not say �this city is responsible for 500 percent of seasonal allergies worldwide.�
5. Do you believe in dog parks? Forget it. I drove TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS ONE WAY to take Finn to a dog park.
Bonus Question 1: Do they hand out free antidepressant medication at health centers?
Bonus Question 2: Is it possible to increase the recommended dosage of antidepressant medication without causing kidney failure?
Seriously. There is a reason this looked so good on paper.
Cheers,
Latoya Oxford Shmoxford Jackson
